Lately, my life has been overwhelming, dissolving, renewing and reshaping – and above all, chock full of learning. This series of posts is all about sharing that learning with you, and in return, I hope you share your life learning with me. (click here to read the intro post)
The trip to Ethiopia was set; I was going. I listened to the Spirit and followed the call. I had no idea why I was going, or how God would use me.
I felt peaceful and open to learning. I wasn’t worried, or needing to control anything. It felt like I had achieved a transcendence about it all – and was able to just sit in a place of faith. I liked that space. I soaked in it like a warm lavender-scented bath.
And then I said, “God, I just want to trust you.”
I meant I would trust God in Ethiopia. I would trust that my path would unfold, and that I would be useful, I would learn, and I would be a light while I was there.
I had everything at home taken care of, thank you very much. My coaching business was coming together, I had a great place to live with my best friend, I was going back to school again to build my skills – I had everything mapped out and planned.
Right on my desktop calendar.
But then when life at home started falling apart, I started to fall apart too. I started to get overwhelmed at everything crumbling down around me. I tried to hold things together, make more plans, figure out more solutions. Why was all of this happening?
And then I realized – I had told God that I would trust, but I wasn’t trusting. Not with everything. Not with my future, my plans, my best friend. I wanted to be the one in control of those pieces of my life.
Lesson 2: Be careful what I say to God
When I tell God that I want to just trust, to just listen and follow His lead, that means in everything. I can’t just pick and choose what I will trust God with in my life.
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