Lesson 3: Ask for Help

 

Lately, my life has been overwhelming, dissolving, renewing and reshaping – and above all, chock full of learning. This series of posts is all about sharing that learning with you, and in return, I hope you share your life learning with me. (click here to read the intro post)


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Last fall, my life was feeling out of control. I had just returned from Ethiopia, was trying to run my coaching business and workshops, starting a new graduate school program and a new part-time job, trying to pay the bills and take care of my friend.

I felt like all of these things had dropped in my lap at one time, and that somehow I should be able to juggle them all. And somehow, I was responsible for them all too.

“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” people say.

Why do people say that?

So I kept trying to handle it.

I prayed.  I did my homework. I went to classes, and I went to work. I smiled and participated and encouraged others. I was doing all of the things that make me feel purposeful, successful, and make me feel like a good person.

But inside I was a mess. I cried a lot. I tried letting go of the things I couldn’t control, but I wanted to be able to control EVERYTHING. I felt moments of peace, but then the worries and fears would come crashing back in waves. I didn’t know what to do to handle it all or to help my bestie, and I felt powerless.

And alone.

I didn’t want to burden anyone with what was going on. Everyone else has their own worries and troubles to deal with – why would I burden them with mine?

I delight helping others, but can't ask for help myself

Was it pride that was keeping me from asking for help? Or did I see myself as a burden because somewhere inside I don’t see myself worthy of help? And even more perplexing – if the roles were reversed, wouldn’t I want to be there for those I love?

Regardless of the root of the issues, I wasn’t asking. I was trying to carry everything alone, and I KNOW BETTER.

So I started doing a little self-coaching,

and I realized the root was fear.

It was fear of being out of control.
It was a fear of being judged.
It was fear of being vulnerable.
It was fear of being needy.
And really…
it was a fear of asking for help, and maybe not getting it.

I decided long ago that fear would not be the decision maker in my life. And this situation could be no exception – I needed to step OVER that fear and let people in. I had to ask for help.

Lesson 3: Don’t be afraid to ask for help

I like to think I have things all together.  I like to think I can handle just about anything.  But we aren’t meant to live that way.  We are built for connection and interdependence, and it’s ok to ask for help.

pin ask for help2

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Lesson 2: Be Careful What You Say to God

Lesson 2: Be careful what you say to God

Lately, my life has been overwhelming, dissolving, renewing and reshaping – and above all, chock full of learning. This series of posts is all about sharing that learning with you, and in return, I hope you share your life learning with me. (click here to read the intro post)


The trip to Ethiopia was set; I was going.  I listened to the Spirit and followed the call.  I had no idea why I was going, or how God would use me.

I felt peaceful and open to learning. I wasn’t worried, or needing to control anything.  It felt like I had achieved a transcendence about it all – and was able to just sit in a place of faith.  I liked that space.  I soaked in it like a warm lavender-scented bath.

And then I said, “God, I just want to trust you.”

Um, wait. God, can I take that back?I meant I would trust God in Ethiopia.  I would trust that my path would unfold, and that I would be useful, I would learn, and I would be a light while I was there.

I had everything at home taken care of, thank you very much. My coaching business was coming together, I had a great place to live with my best friend, I was going back to school again to build my skills – I had everything mapped out and planned.

Right on my desktop calendar.

only in EthiopiaBut then when life at home started falling apart, I started to fall apart too.  I started to get overwhelmed at everything crumbling down around me. I tried to hold things together, make more plans, figure out more solutions. Why was all of this happening?

And then I realized – I had told God that I would trust, but I wasn’t trusting. Not with everything. Not with my future, my plans, my best friend.  I wanted to be the one in control of those pieces of my life.

Lesson 2: Be careful what I say to God

When I tell God that I want to just trust, to just listen and follow His lead, that means in everything.  I can’t just pick and choose what I will trust God with in my life.

When you tell God that you want to trust Him, be prepared.

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Lesson 1 – Listening to the Spirit

Lesson 1: Listening to the SpiritLately, my life has been overwhelming, dissolving, renewing and reshaping – and above all, chock full of learning. This series of posts is all about sharing that learning with you, and in return, I hope you share your life learning with me. (click here for intro post)


 

As I try to identify the first lesson in all of this, I find myself continually backing up in my story.  What I intended as lesson one will now probably be lesson 4 or 27 – and maybe that’s because I’m still learning it. And while I could possibly back up to childhood with the lessons I’m learning, I will start with last year, and this clear moment of listening to the Spirit.

About a year ago, my friend Rudy, who runs a short-term missions organization called Bula, asked me to go on a trip with her to Ethiopia.  She was scouting the location to take a team in the future, and connecting with a local organization that works with orphans and widows, called Bring Love In. She had been asked to do a bit of training with widowed women who are now moms to the orphans in “forever families.”

Rudy asked me to join her. I couldn’t recall her ever asking me directly to do a trip with her before, and that made me take note. I asked her several times how she thought I would be an asset, and she gave me vague-yet-encouraging answers about my skills with training and coaching, and just knew I would be helpful.

Unsettling… but hmmm.

You see, mission trips aren’t really “my thing.” I like the idea of going to other places and helping people, but I get a little leary of the helping-people-in-order-to-convert-them concept that can be prevalent in missions work. Rudy knows this about me, so I had to trust that she really believed this particular trip would be a fit.  So I prayed.

And the Spirit whispered, “Go.  See what happens. Learn.”

Listening to the SpiritI like to think that I’ve listened to the Spirit many times in my life. I’ve quit jobs without new ones lined up; I’ve turned down jobs that didn’t feel right.  I’ve gone back to school now a couple of times, feeling lead to learn something new.

And all of that has brought me to where I am today.

But it was all CONTROLLED.  I listened, but I also calculated. I determined the risks, I weighed all the options.  I did all the planning.

And this trip to Ethiopia, it wasn’t like that.  It felt spontaneous. It felt unknown. I had no idea why I was going, only that I was supposed to go. I had no idea how God would use me, only that He would. And in that moment, I knew about listening.

Lesson 1: Listen to the Spirit
Listening to the Spirit requires that I stop my churning mind, my analyzing, and my planning. In the stillness I discern what is being requested of me. And even though I don’t know the outcome,  I say Yes.

Spirit Lead Me

(clickable Facebook inspiration to share)

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Where I’ve Been

natureIt may feel like it’s been some time since you’ve heard from me, and that’s true. After I got back from my trip to Ethiopia, my life got a little topsy-turvy.

Ok, to be totally honest… my life felt like it was falling apart.

When I came home, my best friend was sick. Really sick. And I couldn’t fix it.

We had to move. I needed to find a smaller place to live that was more affordable and practical.

And in the midst of it all, I started graduate school again.

Classes started on the day I returned, and it’s been almost non-stop – and will be for 2 years.learning new skills

So life got chaotic, and I had to pull back a bit to take care of things – and to take care of myself.

Now it’s time for me to come out of my cocoon.  It’s time for me to share with you all the things I’ve been learning, as well as the reality of my struggles.

Because we all struggle. We all have challenges and trials.

And we all can choose to view them with positivity, an attitude of learning, gratitude, and hopefulness.

And so I commit to do just that. I commit to share my journey with you, and I commit to continue to encourage you on your journey. Over the next few months I will share with you some of those lessons learned (whether I wanted them or not!), and are still being learned – because maybe you will be able to relate… and we can all learn together.

No one is without troubles

(click image to share from facebook)

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Struggling to Find Thankfulness

This time of year, especially in the States, we are flooded with reminders to be thankful and grateful for all that we have in our lives.

But sometimes life gets pretty tough, and it’s hard to find our thankfulness.  It’s hard to stay in touch with our gratitude when we are experiencing loss.  It’s hard to find joy in the midst of great tragedy.

So I just want to remind you today:
it’s OK to feel however you need and want to feel.

You don’t have to be grateful just because a holiday has come up. You don’t have to let go of what you are really feeling because of how you are “supposed to” be.

And maybe our feelings can be more than just either/or.  Maybe we will be able to find moments of laughter through heartache, or find joy in reliving old memories. And maybe we can even find a spark of gratitude in tiny moments, in little gestures of kindness.

Maybe we can feel it all.

And maybe, when we say it’s OK to feel exactly how we are feeling today, we will notice becoming grateful after all – for the little kindness shown to ourself.

However you are feeling today, give yourself permission to have and express those feelings.  I hope you are able to feel more than one way today, and I hope you know that you are never alone.

rejoicing in thankfulness

Why We Struggle Saying No

noSaying No seems like it should be easy.  It’s just 2 little letters after all.  We learned it so well when we were toddlers!

The little word “no” can be one of the toughest words to get out. And I’ve started thinking about why.

Is it about avoiding conflict? Or maybe it’s all about timing, or not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings?  Or could an inability to say “No” be tied to underlying fears or insecurities?

5 reasons we might have trouble saying no:

1.  We have been trained.

Remember that 2-year old whose first words included Dada, Doodoo, and… No?  Oh dear, that wasn’t acceptable!  We train our children to stop saying no, and heaven forbid they say it to a teacher.  We have been trained to be compliant, and that makes speaking up for ourselves and our needs a little difficult.

2. We want to be liked.

It feels BAD to disappoint someone.  To see their face drop, or to get a sad-face emoticon response. We want people to like us, and we often internalize their disappointment into messages of our own worth and likability. That makes it hard to say no.

3. We want to be “good.”

This goes along with the compliant learning, but I think there is something in us that often tells us that “good” people are always helpful and always social.  We don’t stop to think about how always being that way would make a person burn out or become resentful (uh – opposite of good).

4. We feel rushed.

Because of our ingrained training, we often don’t take time to think about our answer, and the automatic “Sure!” comes right on out.  In our instant gratification society, taking a little time to think about an answer can be frowned upon (and that takes us back to #2 – no frowns desired).

5. We fear rejection.

I think this is the bottom line. When we tell someone “no,” they have the opportunity to dislike us, form an unflattering opinion of us, or dismiss us completely.  We fear isolation, disconnection, and disapproval.

These desires and fears are real.  They are powerful.  And fear can keep us in a really unhappy place if we let it.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

It is possible to say No to others and still be liked, still be good, AND take care of yourself too.  We’ve had a lot of practice at being compliant – now it’s time to incorporate a little self-care into the our lives, and stop saying yes when we really mean no.

It will be OK if you do.

Need help saying no? Free Webinar!Click the image to learn more about my free webinar June 24th!

doing some training and always laughing!

Christine Morgan is a Professional Life Coach, Counselor, and Teacher. She began her career empowering others through Social Work and Education, yet her personal journey is a muddier road than any resumé implies. She knows the effort it takes to cope, to believe in yourself, and to let go of what other people think or expect. If you are tired of feeling stuck or overwhelmed, and would like new skills and support on your journey, contact her today!

 

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are an interesting topic – we love to talk about them, talk about when other people violate them, and sometimes even acknowledge that we have trouble setting them clearly. But many of us don’t really know methods for setting them effectively.

So we set boundaries awkwardly, aggressively, or not at all.

And then we get angry at, or critical of, ourselves or others for “violating boundaries” that weren’t well expressed in the first place.

setting boundaries can be difficult and awkward, but don't stop

What if we never learned where “I” end and “you” begin?

Maybe no one set healthy limits when we were growing up.  Maybe we didn’t have any effective role models, or maybe we didn’t have support or encouragement. Or maybe we had our boundaries completely violated without our consent.There can be many reasons why we didn’t develop them, but none of those reasons actually help us move forward.

And so we find ourselves unable to say no, unable to accept when good things are meant for us; we find ourselves feeling selfish whenever we think about self-care, or we find ourselves controlling and deciding the needs for others.

But it’s not too late. Because setting healthy boundaries is a skill. It’s a skill that can be learned and adjusted as needed. Our boundaries adapt depending on the situation, yet revolve around our central values.

Boundary work requires practice.  So how do we start? Maybe with these 3 As of healthy boundaries.

The 3 A’s of setting healthy boundaries

1. Awareness

The first step in any healing and learning process is becoming aware of where we currently are, and what we want to learn or heal.  In what situations are you allowing others to control you? In what situations are you trying to control (protect and rescue included!) others?  How does this impact your life?

2. Action

In order to make any changes in our lives, we have to take action. We can be aware of all kinds of things, but unless we take steps to heal and learn new skills, we will get stuck just living in the same routine.  What new steps can you take today to make changes?  And can you allow yourself to do these steps imperfectly as you practice and learn?

3. Acceptance

If you have trouble letting go or saying no, then you have to know that about yourself, and be gentle with yourself.  Learning a new skill isn’t easy – imagine you were going to start learning the piano today… would you be a master of it tomorrow?  Accept that this is an area of work in your life, and promise to be kind to yourself, and others as you practice.

You teach people how to treat you.

Teach them well.

 

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Finding your Safe Spaces

When you were a kid, where was your secret space?

Safe space hidden in the treesDid you hide in your closet, or under your bed?  Did you have a tree house or fort, filled with adventure and spiders?  Did you take a flashlight under your covers, and set sail on your bed/boat across the vast ocean of carpet?

Finding secret and safe spaces seemed easier as a child.  The requirements weren’t rigid; only the rules we created applied.

As a child, maybe the monsters were more obvious; perhaps we were just less aware of the dangers.  Maybe we just didn’t worry as much; maybe we just didn’t take things so seriously.

What made a space safe wasn’t due to solid craftsmanship, immaculate cleanliness, or the construction budget.  Only a few things were required to make a space safe:

Comfortable

A space that feels warm and cozy, to our skin and our soul – be it tucked under blankets or soaking up the sun and fresh air. A safe space brings us comfort and security.

Friendly

No idiots allowed - safe space from brothers!A cruelty-free zone, filled only with love and acceptance, laughter, imagination, and delight. Not many people are allowed here, nor are thoughts of negativity or comparison.

Free from Fear

Monsters and worries are not permitted in this space.  There is nothing to fear in this space, and nothing is allowed to harm you.

As adults, it might be a little harder to find them, but we still need to make efforts to find those safe space – to create those safe spaces.

And what makes a space safe is the same for us now as it was for us then.  Do you have somewhere comfortable and friendly? Do you have a place to sit with freedom from fear?  Do you know how to create such a place when you need one?

I encourage you today to create your space. To take things a little less seriously.  To let go of the monsters.  Because we need those spaces of safety, we need those times of comfort, and we need those moments of healing freedom.

Rejuvenate.

Take a blanket out into the sun. Listen to nature sing of freedom and joy. Climb under the blankets with a flashlight. Sail your bed-boat across those vast oceans, so when the monsters rise up out of murky waters, you have strength and energy to defeat them.

And a coach makes an excellent first mate! :)

 

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It’s Not Personal

To Sarah, it seemed like everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.  Her boss was snappy, giving orders to make some changes to a project without even a hello. Two of her coworkers greeted her “Good Morning” with a point to their earphones.Someone even gave her outfit for the day a scowling once-over. She knew it was going to be a rough day.

Frustrated Woman photo by John De BoerAnd it was. Bickering started with the person in the next cubicle – via email.  Someone decided they liked the looks of her sandwich, and it disappeared from the fridge. Then the cherry-on-top of this soul-sucking day was in a department meeting, when blame for a failed project (disguised as accountability) started getting tossed around the table like a hot potato.

Sigh.

So how does Sarah, this enlightened fictional woman, deal with this day?  How does she not absorb all of the swirling negativity, the anger, the tossed about attempts to create shame?

When the world is swirling around you in a negative way, it’s hard not to absorb it.  But you can, with one simple reminder.

It’s not about you.

None of these events need to be taken personally.  In this scenario above, none of these people are even thinking about Sarah, and in your life, they typically aren’t thinking of you either.  These people are thinking about themselves.

Lost in thought photo by Martin WallsPeople are scowling because of their own internal dialogue, their own feelings of low self-esteem, of dissatisfaction, of disappointment.  People disengage with the humans around them because of a drive for task achievement. People hurl blame out of their own fear of rejection, of conflict, or of insecurity.

It’s about them – the things they are going through, the experiences they are living and have lived.  It’s about how they feel about themselves at this very minute.  It’s about how their mother spoke to them last night on the phone.  It’s about how they messed up at home and fought with the kids. It’s about how they don’t feel peaceful, joyful, or filled with love.

It’s about their tough day, and it doesn’t have to be yours.

So how does Sarah make it through the day?

Awareness. She lets it all go.  She sees each person as trying to deal with their own path in this life, and she knows that it doesn’t have to color hers.  She takes a deep breath, exhales the negativity, imagines a bubble of light surrounding her, and she treats herself to a special lunch. She makes it through her day at work, and then surrounds herself with positivity – friends, family, online support, books, shows… connection – any chance she gets.

All the while remembering it’s about them. It’s not personal. It could be directed at anyone (it often is), and it says nothing about Sarah’s like-ability, her capabilities, or her worth.  She let’s them own their own behaviors; she lets them be responsible for their own way.

And that night in her prayers, she asks the Creator for these cranky, scared, insecure, imperfect people to be blessed as they each travel their own, very difficult, roads.

And she asks for a new chance to shine light tomorrow.

at sunset photo by sanja gjenero

Being a Sheep

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

It’s the lunar new year, and it’s the year of the Sheep (or goat, or ram, whichever you prefer).

Chinese new year 2015

So this got me thinking…

Have you ever been called a sheep?

It’s often thought of as being a negative – being a sheep.  I’ve heard it used to describe someone as weak-willed, following the crowd, conforming to fit in without really thinking for themselves, or just going along with what everyone else wants them to do.

But I don’t know if that’s fair – to people, or sheep.

Because maybe it’s good to be a sheep…

Sheep are friendly.  They like being together in a herd, and get stressed when separated from others.  New sheep don’t have to look the same, act any certain way – they are just accepted.  What if everyone in the world chose connection?

Sheep protect each other.  Flocking is a natural behavior among sheep.  They will run from things that frighten them and band together to stand against an enemy.  What if people always protected each other?

Sheep collaborate. They don’t get in power struggles, or need someone to be the boss – there is no one leader in a flock of sheep – they often follow just the first one that moves.  What would our world be like if people all worked together?

Sheep are peaceful.  There are no turf wars or alpha struggles for sheep. They don’t care about any particular piece of land, as long as they are together.   They don’t care about being in charge, or getting the credit.  Sheep want to just be. What if we could spend more time just being?

Sheep are aware.  Sheep rely on their senses to observe the environment and are constantly surveying.  They have a wide field of vision (up to 306 degrees!), can pinpoint the location of a sound, and even smell water. What if we used our senses to be more aware of what’s around us, in this moment?

Sheep are intelligent.  Sheep recognize and remember faces. They can remember complex mazes.  They have been known to search out healing plants when not feeling well, and even rolled themselves over a cattle grate in Yorkshire to get to a better field. What if we focused on creative problem-solving?

Being docile doesn’t mean weak.
Being peaceful doesn’t mean less intelligent.
Accepting others openly doesn’t mean conforming.

In fact, being tender-hearted, friendly, collaborative, always thinking and observing – these are the ways I do want to be.  And, with a good shepherd to guide me and a flock to help protect me, I know these are the keys to enjoy a good life.

Just like a sheep.

 

Lambs photo by TouTouke

Info Source: I got my new learning about sheep here and here

 

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Valentine Love – a Freebie for you!

The month of love

Have you decided how you will tell those you love how much they mean to you?

Fancy gifts and expensive presents aren’t always needed – sometimes just a heartfelt note means more, is more deeply remembered and cherished, and brings joy for weeks to come!

So my gift this month to folks on my email list (and I suppose to any others who have found this page!) 🙂 is a little collection of LOVE NOTE cards, created by me, for you!  Each image is clickable to a larger postcard – they look even better full size – then just right-click and save/print the image.

I haven’t added my logo to these – because I want them to be from YOU.

I see you postcardWith all my heart postcardI love you because valentine postcardDon’t forget to add your own words to this last one! 🙂

No matter how you do it, and really, no matter what time of year, let your loved ones know just how very precious they are to you.

Every day. Any day. Today.

 

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Overcome Limiting Beliefs

So, by now, you are in the middle of it, right?

Charging ahead, working on those “New Year, New You” resolutions.  Headed to the gym before work, reading a new book each week…

resolutions

Oh wait.. no?
Are you feeling defeated?
Are you losing some steam?
Feeling discouraged or overwhelmed?

Psst – it’s totally normal.

Have you heard of limiting beliefs? It’s a concept we talk a lot about in coaching.  Limiting beliefs, simply put, are lies we tell ourselves that stop us from succeeding, that stop us from even moving. We’ve picked them up over the years, through watching our parents figure out their own place in the world, from crabby teachers who don’t like children, from bossy friends telling us how to fit in – even from society at large giving us “information” on what women and men “should” be like.

Limiting beliefs tell us when we “can’t” do something. Falsely.  These lies create little stories in our head and attach emotions such as fear, doubt, or shame.  Powerful, paralyzing emotions.  And those thoughts, paired with emotion, over time, become habits.  It becomes normal to sabotage our dreams, to believe we can’t achieve goals we set.

Samples of limiting beliefs:

  • I can’t quit, addiction is too powerful.meLpMPsa
  • I’m never going to be as good as she is, so why try?
  • I don’t deserve it anyway.
  • No one even cares what I do anyway, so why try?
  • It doesn’t matter what I do.
  • No one will like me that way.
  • Being rejected is too painful to risk it.
  • I’m just going to embarrass myself by trying.
  • I’m not good enough.

Lies. All of them.

What if … we stopped believing the lies?

Does it seem possible to stop believing the lies?

I will admit, it’s not easy.  It takes time, it takes practice, and it takes a real desire for change. And sometimes, a new wave comes up and you have to start over again. (Another thing that’s normal!)

But the good news? These thought patterns ARE YOURS.  You are the only one who has the power to change them, and you can overcome!

How to begin to overcome your limiting beliefs:

limiting beliefs1. Make the choice.  First you have to want to, really want to, let go of those old thinking patterns.  It’s hard – even when they are unpleasant, they are still comfortable. They are known. So the first step is to set your mind, set your will, choose to step out of this dirty comfort.

2. Get some help. Because these thoughts are habits, they are quite comfortable. So it’s hard to recognize when we are falling into these old traps. Get a friend or a coach who will hold you accountable. Someone who will gently remind you of what is truth, what is possible, and what you can really do!

3. Replace the lies.  You need new truth to fill the thought space of your old thinking.  And you need to remind yourself constantly of this new truth!  Put post-it notes on your computer screen, your bathroom mirror. Change your passwords, your screen-savers, your lock screen on your phone to phrases that will remind you of all that you can do.

4. Practice, Practice, Practice.  It takes time to train your brain. Just like learning to play the piano, it takes time to learn a new skill. So be kind to yourself  while you learn to make new statements and let go of the old.

Samples of overcoming statements:

  • I am more powerful than addiction.
  • With God’s help, I can do anything.
  • I am doing what I am meant to do.
  • I am meant to fully live this life.
  • Through my work, I can help others.
  • Everything I do is a learning experience.
  • I am enough.

Your statements will be yours.  They will lift you up, remind you of who you truly are and all you meant to be.

So play with this idea. Talk with a friend about what holds you back and what would get you going again.

Because we have to recognize it in order to conquer it.
And we can.

Working Together

who knew togetherness was so cute?

What do you think about working with someone else on a project instead of just by yourself?

Some of you LOVE it – you find greater creativity, a divided workload to ease the burden, and loads of laughs you couldn’t have by yourself (without being looked at sideways).

And there are some of you who probably HATE it.  You end up doing all the work, people never understand what you mean, or everything takes twice as long to complete.Credit: Endless Origami

Isn’t it funny how working together can bring such diverse reactions?

When we struggle with working collaboratively, it’s often due to a lack of effective communication.

Such as…

  • Not knowing how to say no… so I end up doing the whole thing alone.
  • Not knowing how to get my opinions out without sounding bossy or condescending.
  • Not knowing that someone else’s differing opinion doesn’t mean that mine is “wrong.”

                   The cool thing is – it doesn’t have to be that way.

teamworkYou CAN retrain your communication skills.

You CAN learn ways to speak up for yourself without being bossy.

You CAN practice listening to different opinions without feeling attacked.

It’s all a matter of choice.
We first choose to learn,
then to find a teacher,
and continually to practice the skills.

You can do it – if you want to.

My Latest Project

We crack ourselves up!

I’m excited to share that I’m having a great time working together with Patricia Love, Life’s Cheerleader at her website – the Portal to a Positive Self Image.

Want a chuckle today? Watch our trailer videos on YouTube!

We run a new self-improvement class every month, encourage and provide coaching support for achieving goals and believing in yourself. The first 30 days are free – I would love to have you come join me.

Then WE could be working together!

Working together
gives us a chance
to make something good
into something great.

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I’m a Guru!

Hello friends!

It feels like it’s been a busy month already, and it’s only just getting started.Does that happen to you this time of year too?And then, if we aren’t careful, it can quickly lead to overwhelm – even when we are doing things that are usually fun!

Sometimes when we are busy bees, it helps to share with others all that we’ve been doing (a sanity check maybe?). So I think it will help me to share with you some of the things I’ve been working on:

I’m a featured guru on Hello Peace – first with a Poem, then a more in-your-face Article about the perils of complaining.
Brain on overload
I shared a Confession with Tina C. Hines.
Be ok even if
I’ve been getting the word out about my latest book, the Know My Worth Poem & Prayer Journal.
Know My Worth Journal
And I’m doing a new free online workshop next week, giving tips on how to REMEMBER YOUR WORTH through the holidays.
Remember your worth through the holidays!
Phew!  
And I didn’t even yet mention the work I’ve been doing with Life’s Cheerleader – the Portal to a Positive Self Image, or the new Accountability Coaching Groups I will offer in the new year (more on those next time!).Ok, so I can see why I might be stepping into the realm of overwhelm. But as I take a look at it – each one of these activities also brings me great joy.  I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing!So for now, I’m taking things one step at a time. I’m going to check in regularly with myself to make sure I’m spending my time and energy on those things that are most aligned with my values – most important to me and my well being.

How about you?  Do you have a list too?  I would love to hear it!  Because if you share it with me, you too can take that deep breath and say “Oh, that’s why!”

Purpose and joy are found
when our activities align with our values.

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Stretching

Stretch photo by Alvimann MorguefileStretch.  

(v) verb. to straighten or extend one’s body or a part of one’s body to its full length, typically so as to tighten one’s muscles or in order to reach something.
(definition source: google)

We stretch.
We reach.
We strive.
We grow.

What we don’t often realize, is that we are doing it every day.

stretching, changing

 

You are stretching, growing, changing.
Always.

What stretch are you feeling today?

——

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Nurturing Friendships

writing to a friendI wrote a letter today to a dear friend.  A real letter – an honest-to-goodness, paper-and-pencil, carve-out-time, find-space-on-my-desk letter.

And it felt wonderful.

When, and more importantly, why, did I stop writing letters?

I loved the thoughtful nature of the activity. I had to sit and think about what to say next, think of what I should ask her, and ponder what news she would like to hear from me.

I loved the feeling of the paper sliding under my hand, the weight of the pen.  No plastic keyboard, no clicking (and sticking) space bar.

I even loved the slight cramp in my fingers that came from a “new” position and use.  The muscle memory was weak, yet the memory remains.

nurture quality friendshipsAnd doing this activity made me think about all that we do to feed our friendships, to nurture each other, encourage each other, and support each other.

But sometimes “life” gets in the way.  Do you remember the last time you picked up a pen (or clicked a keyboard) and sent a note out to encourage a special friend?  I’m guessing there is at least one that needs to hear from you.

Today was my day to stop letting life get in the way, and take a few moments to say “hello dear friend, I’m thinking of you, loving you.”

Maybe today
will be your day too.


Speaking of writing…

Just published!

And now available on Amazon.com

Know My Worth JournalKnow My Worth Poem and Prayer Journal

Several of my original poems and prayers are scattered through this journal, surrounded by beautifully-framed lined pages for your own personal reflection time.

Includes affirmations and motivations around themes such as Self Worth, Confidence, Self-Care, and Faith.

I do hope you love it! It’s the perfect size to tuck into a purse or nightstand, and a wonderful gift for someone you love.

So Many Rules!

You can't make me!Are you following the rules?

For some of you, that question brings up a feeling of panic:
Wait, am I?

For others, it inspires instant rebellion:
What are you going to do about it if I’m not?

Whoa! Hang on there…
I’m certainly not here to tell you ANY rules, I’m here to help you CLAIM the ones you choose as your own.

Here’s what I mean:

We get so caught up in our day to day life, that I think sometimes we forget that we are adults and that we have choices.  Some of our responsibilities can be so heavy that we feel like we have no choice… but we ALWAYS DO.

You could always choose to walk away. You could always choose to say no. You could even choose to give up. You always have the choice.

Sure, every choice has a consequence, and some of them feel dire. But the choices you make today, right now, even those that help you fit in and to follow rules given to you, those also have consequences.

So if you ever feel like grumbling because you are always being told what to do, or feel forced to make certain decisions, remember that you are choosing that path. You are choosing it because the consequences are the easiest to deal with, because you want to have other options in other areas of your life, or because you have let go of your personal power.  There are a myriad of reasons why we choose, even subconscious ones, but we are always choosing.

So let’s claim our choices!  We choose our circumstances. We choose our steps. We choose our path.

We choose our rules.

My choices, my rules.

 

Life is for living.
Don’t let rules in your life
take your personal power.
You are an adult.
You make a choice.
Every time.

~Be blessed! Christine

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Autumn

My favorite color is October Ahh… autumn.
This has always been my favorite time of year, and now that I’m in the Pacific Northwest (as I’m learning to call it), the magic seems just a little bit richer, a little more tangible.

Leaves are changing,
the air is getting sharp,
the squirrels scurry with urgency.

My nose is most often cold now,
but I get to wear cozy clothes
snuggle deeply into blankets
and drink lots of tea.Design Peaceful Moments

But for me, the autumn is about even more than the beauty that surrounds me.

Maybe it’s those squirrels, but there is an energy this time of year that feeds creativity.
It’s an energy of getting ready.  It’s about being in this moment, yet also preparing for what comes next.

Change your Thoughts...I’m guessing you feel it too.

And to me, it’s a message. A message about paying attention to what’s going on around me, as well as what’s going on in my mind.

Being aware.  And as we get ready for our next big thing, remembering to enjoy the little things along way too.

To see the beauty around us.

To design peaceful moments.
To get ready.
To live life fully.

Thanks for reading – bless your week!

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Reconnecting to the Worth and Wisdom in each of us